"If we fail at home, I wonder if we have really succeeded anywhere." p.7
Mom and Dad are the first pictures of God to a child. Ps 103:13 Isaiah 66:13
The importance of the early years.
The young child learns attitudes, responses, character traits. He begins to develop a positive or negative self-image. He learns what he can get away with and where he must stop. p.25
parents teach children in 3 ways: by example, by attitudes, which develop emotional responses in our children, and by our words. p.32
-Attitudes: "Children often verbalize attitudes when we hadn't really counted on them saying aloud what we had thought." p.39 "Everyday of your life your attitudes are shaping and molding the character of your child." p.40
The Bible says a great deal--both negatively and positively--about our thinking. Phil 4:8-9
convey positive mental and spiritual attitudes which we must be firmly committed.
-Words: Teach the principles of God's Word Deut 6:6-7 "And these words, which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart. And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children..."
capitalize on the questions of a child to teach them God's truths.
The principle of praise and appreciation: When they do something that pleases us, we need to let them know that what they have done is right and good. p.47
"The family that plays and prays together stays together." The atmosphere of your home e.g. decoration is important too!. p.61 A visible witness, can people know that God lives here in your home?
Discipline your child. Prov 3:11, 12; 12:1; 13:24; 15:10; Heb 12:5, 6 ; Eph 6:4
Discipline not to vent your anger and frustration on your kids. But to discipline children in order to save heartbreak and anguish.
Discipline produces a security that draws the limits on behaviour. "Indefinite limitations--poorly defined and enforced--also result in an emotional instability where life itself is not clearly defined." Discipline produces obedience. Jesus was obedient to Joseph and Mary (Luke 2:51), Heb 5:8
1. Establish clear limits of behaviour
2. Enforce boundaries with consistent discipline (parents work together)
3. Administer discipline in private. The purpose of discipline is to reinforce the teaching-learning process which develops a sense of right and wrong in the child. It is not to shame him, humiliate or anger him... p.85
4. Establish responsibility for the wrongdoing. ...ask a series of questions which cause a youngster to acknowledge a wrongdoing. eg. 'Do you understand that you were supposed to ask permission before you left our block?' Not: 'Did you cross the street?'.
5. Show grief over the offense.
6. Administer discipline firmly and thoroughly. Prov 13:24, the rod 2 Sam 7:14
7. Allow a child to vent his emotions and then talk with him. stay with him until he has stopped sobbing, then talk with him again to clarify why he was punished.
8. Once a matter has been dealt with, consider it forgiven. Heb 12:5-13. When God forgives us, our sins are as far as the east is from the west (Ps 103:12)
9. Balance discipline with personal attention.
Convey moral and spiritual values to your children
-don't be a hypocrite
-"Have a plan to teach spiritual truth as well as illustrate it with your life. ...No great concert pianist would assume that his daughter is learning music theory because she grows up in his home." p.116
-Live as consistently as you can.
-Confess your failures
-Practice unconditional love. Acceptance doesn't equal approval
-Keep the channels of communication open. Anger, frustration, constant preaching, sarcasm, and similar gestures are surefire ways to stop the flow of communication. ...lots of genuine listening with an attempt to understand. p.120
-Protect your offspring with a fence of prayer.
Teaching your children about sex. When a child asks a question is the best time to answer him--honestly and openly. If he cares for details, he'll ask for details.
Have regular family worship time. Plan it.
1. The study of the Word
2. A time of prayer
3. Memorization of key verses and passages geared to the needs of our family.
Dec-1 Jan, 2018
Manila: Accent-B/P Publications/OMF Literature Inc., 1978
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Monday, January 1, 2018
Saturday, July 22, 2017
26. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens-Sean Covey
Get in the habit, they make you or break you.
Shift your paradigms and be principles-centered.
The Personal Bank Account:
1. Be proactive, take responsibility for your own life. Don't complain. Choose to respond with the right attitude.
2. Begin with the end in mind. How do you want to be a year later? Deciding what your values are and setting goals. ; the "Great Discovery"; writing your Personal mission statement
3. Prioritze: big rocks scheduling
"Winning means rising everything you fail."
4. Think win-win.
Relationship bank account.
Keep promises, do small acts of kindness, be loyal, genuine listening, say you're sorry, set clear expectations.
-Don't compare with others. "When competition is used as a means of creating a self-image relative to others, the worst in a person comes out." -Tim Galwey, p.155
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
-Listen first, talk second because everyone wants to be respected and valued for who they are--a unique, one-of-a-kind individual. People won't expose their soft middles unless they feel genuine love and understanding.
6. Synergize. Celebrating differences, teamwork, open-mindedness, finding new and better ways.
7. Renewal: sharpen the saw. Nothing in life comes easily. Pay the price of hard work to develop a strong mind. p.217
Laughter is the best medicine
Caring for your soul: journal, listen to good music, walk in nature (what is it that moves your soul?)
Overall, the "baby steps" provided at the end of each chapter provides great practical applications and can be looked at again to carry out the steps.
13-22 July, 2017
New York: Fireside, 1998
Shift your paradigms and be principles-centered.
The Personal Bank Account:
1. Be proactive, take responsibility for your own life. Don't complain. Choose to respond with the right attitude.
2. Begin with the end in mind. How do you want to be a year later? Deciding what your values are and setting goals. ; the "Great Discovery"; writing your Personal mission statement
3. Prioritze: big rocks scheduling
"Winning means rising everything you fail."
4. Think win-win.
Relationship bank account.
Keep promises, do small acts of kindness, be loyal, genuine listening, say you're sorry, set clear expectations.
-Don't compare with others. "When competition is used as a means of creating a self-image relative to others, the worst in a person comes out." -Tim Galwey, p.155
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
-Listen first, talk second because everyone wants to be respected and valued for who they are--a unique, one-of-a-kind individual. People won't expose their soft middles unless they feel genuine love and understanding.
6. Synergize. Celebrating differences, teamwork, open-mindedness, finding new and better ways.
7. Renewal: sharpen the saw. Nothing in life comes easily. Pay the price of hard work to develop a strong mind. p.217
Laughter is the best medicine
Caring for your soul: journal, listen to good music, walk in nature (what is it that moves your soul?)
Overall, the "baby steps" provided at the end of each chapter provides great practical applications and can be looked at again to carry out the steps.
13-22 July, 2017
New York: Fireside, 1998
Monday, July 3, 2017
25. Decision Making by the Book-Haddon W. Robinson
How to find guidance/make decisions in life?
-Read the Bible. "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Tim 3:16-17
-obey God's words (Psalm 119:97-104)
-God's Moral will 1 Peter 4:8-11
-the freedom to decide (1 Cor 10:27)
-don't ask 'how can i know the will of God'. Instead, ask "How do we develop the skills necessary to make wise and prudent choices?" that can glorify God.
-make decisions in submission to the sovereign will of God (p.55)-James 4:13-16; If God wills...; pray to God when making decisions; "The purpose of prayer is to bow before the sovereign God and acknowledge His sovereignty in my life and my decisions.".p. 59
-Wisdom through prayer. Wisdom is "intellectual and moral." p. 60
-based on the motive of love (Luke 10:25-28); agape love-seek the benefits of others, not just love as a strong emotion
-know your strengths
-consider the circumstances but don't treat all open doors or feeling of peace as an okay from God.
-General principles: "A second-best decision, diligently pursued, will often beat a first-best decision that is not diligently pursued." p.127
4 July 2017
Grand Rapids: Discovery House Publishers, 1998.
-Read the Bible. "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Tim 3:16-17
-obey God's words (Psalm 119:97-104)
-God's Moral will 1 Peter 4:8-11
-the freedom to decide (1 Cor 10:27)
-don't ask 'how can i know the will of God'. Instead, ask "How do we develop the skills necessary to make wise and prudent choices?" that can glorify God.
-make decisions in submission to the sovereign will of God (p.55)-James 4:13-16; If God wills...; pray to God when making decisions; "The purpose of prayer is to bow before the sovereign God and acknowledge His sovereignty in my life and my decisions.".p. 59
-Wisdom through prayer. Wisdom is "intellectual and moral." p. 60
-based on the motive of love (Luke 10:25-28); agape love-seek the benefits of others, not just love as a strong emotion
-know your strengths
-consider the circumstances but don't treat all open doors or feeling of peace as an okay from God.
-General principles: "A second-best decision, diligently pursued, will often beat a first-best decision that is not diligently pursued." p.127
4 July 2017
Grand Rapids: Discovery House Publishers, 1998.
Monday, February 20, 2017
15. (Moving Through Your Problems Toward) Finding God - Larry Crabb
"Did the fact ever cross your mind that you are here in this world just to understand the Lord Jesus Christ, and for no other reason?" -George MacDonald p.15
-Feeling better (recovering from pain, finding comfort) has become more important to us than finding God. And worse, we assume that people who find God always feel better. p. 18
"We have learned to praise God the way we tip a specially attentive waiter. Good treatment we expect, but exceptional treatment deserves special recognition.... But this is backwards! We have rearranged things so that God is now worthy of honor because he has honored us. "Worthy is the Lamb," we cry, not in response to his amazing grace, but because he has recovered what we value most: the ability to like ourselves. We now matter more than God." p. 18
"With his blood Christ purchased a people for God and made us priests to serve him (Rev. 5:9-10). We exist for him, not the other way around." p. 19
Hebrews 11:6 "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."
-Not merely living, but walking with God. (Enoch's life.)
-"Agreeing to join him requires that every other ambition in my heart become secondary to promoting Christ. Anything that contradicts this purpose must be abandoned." p. 33
-"Our agenda is to fix the world until it can properly take care of us. God's agenda is to bring all things together in Christ until every knee bows before him." p. 35
"The deepest pleasures of life don't satisfy--they point us forward." p. 56
"Future hope is more valuable than present relief." p.61
-"No one will conclude that God is good by studying life. The evidence powerfully suggests otherwise. Belief in the goodness of God and the worship that naturally flows from this confidence depends on the revealing work of the Holy Spirit. When he ushers us into the presence of ultimate goodness, when our darkest tragedy is pierced by one glimpse of invisible glory, then faith is born. And the faith given by God's Spirit makes self-concern laughably unnecessary. We know we're in good hands no matter what comes. And our manner of living reflects our knowledge. We relax and get on with the purpose of life on this earth--worshipping God and advancing his kingdom." pp. 104-105
"You know you're finding God when you believe that God is good no matter what happens." "Finding God is developing, through Christ, an unshakable confidence in God's absolute goodness and perfect love no matter what we may experience in this life." p.106
Finding God means to face all of life, both good and bad, with a spirit of trust. We have a higher calling than finding joy in good things and working through bad things: we must reflect confidence in God in all our relationships and activities, in all our joys and sorrows.
"But our search for him must be on his terms. ... We are rather the judged, the forgiven, and the invited." p.107
-Replace the fallen structure on which so much of my life is built with a godly foundation.
-"Imagine relating to God with complete contentment, joyfulness, and eagerness to give." the foundation of "I Believe God" rather than "I Doubt God": You no longer doubt, but believe in his goodness. You no longer feel terror, but feel calm at his words: "I'll never leave you. You can walk through the valley of the shadow of death with me. Be of good cheer. You'll have trouble in this world but I've overcome it. Your story has an ending too happy to describe. Trust me." You no longer feel rage, but want to worship. "God, you alone are worthy. I believe that those who love you will never be ashamed." pp. 107-8.
The last Word: Christ.
"To believe Christ (faith), to serve Christ (love), and to wait for Christ (hope): that is what it means to find God. But to the degree that you haven't found him, your passions are out of control. Trust is out. You want to explain and control;" p. 211
"Let your passion to heal become a passion to give hope. The wounds won't all go away now... but you can continue on, doing the work of faith and carrying out the labour of love...A better city awaits you." p.212
'It is time to find our way back to the living room and into the Father's arms, where we can listen to his Spirit tell the story of Christ." p.213
"I am making plans right now to take the step that God has placed before me. I've already taken it in my heart. Panic is giving way to the terror of trust. A quiet sense of adventure--almost a thrill--is replacing the despairing boredom. The world is too bad a place--and far too uncertain--to build a home and to count on enjoying it. But it's a perfect place to find God." p. 216
17-21 Feb, 2017
Singapore: Methodist Book Room PTE LTD, 1993 (Asia Edition)
P: A really good and honest book about the inner life of every Christian and how we can move through our problems toward Finding God, which is the most important thing.
-Feeling better (recovering from pain, finding comfort) has become more important to us than finding God. And worse, we assume that people who find God always feel better. p. 18
"We have learned to praise God the way we tip a specially attentive waiter. Good treatment we expect, but exceptional treatment deserves special recognition.... But this is backwards! We have rearranged things so that God is now worthy of honor because he has honored us. "Worthy is the Lamb," we cry, not in response to his amazing grace, but because he has recovered what we value most: the ability to like ourselves. We now matter more than God." p. 18
"With his blood Christ purchased a people for God and made us priests to serve him (Rev. 5:9-10). We exist for him, not the other way around." p. 19
Hebrews 11:6 "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."
-Not merely living, but walking with God. (Enoch's life.)
-"Agreeing to join him requires that every other ambition in my heart become secondary to promoting Christ. Anything that contradicts this purpose must be abandoned." p. 33
-"Our agenda is to fix the world until it can properly take care of us. God's agenda is to bring all things together in Christ until every knee bows before him." p. 35
"The deepest pleasures of life don't satisfy--they point us forward." p. 56
"Future hope is more valuable than present relief." p.61
-"No one will conclude that God is good by studying life. The evidence powerfully suggests otherwise. Belief in the goodness of God and the worship that naturally flows from this confidence depends on the revealing work of the Holy Spirit. When he ushers us into the presence of ultimate goodness, when our darkest tragedy is pierced by one glimpse of invisible glory, then faith is born. And the faith given by God's Spirit makes self-concern laughably unnecessary. We know we're in good hands no matter what comes. And our manner of living reflects our knowledge. We relax and get on with the purpose of life on this earth--worshipping God and advancing his kingdom." pp. 104-105
"You know you're finding God when you believe that God is good no matter what happens." "Finding God is developing, through Christ, an unshakable confidence in God's absolute goodness and perfect love no matter what we may experience in this life." p.106
Finding God means to face all of life, both good and bad, with a spirit of trust. We have a higher calling than finding joy in good things and working through bad things: we must reflect confidence in God in all our relationships and activities, in all our joys and sorrows.
"But our search for him must be on his terms. ... We are rather the judged, the forgiven, and the invited." p.107
-Replace the fallen structure on which so much of my life is built with a godly foundation.
-"Imagine relating to God with complete contentment, joyfulness, and eagerness to give." the foundation of "I Believe God" rather than "I Doubt God": You no longer doubt, but believe in his goodness. You no longer feel terror, but feel calm at his words: "I'll never leave you. You can walk through the valley of the shadow of death with me. Be of good cheer. You'll have trouble in this world but I've overcome it. Your story has an ending too happy to describe. Trust me." You no longer feel rage, but want to worship. "God, you alone are worthy. I believe that those who love you will never be ashamed." pp. 107-8.
The last Word: Christ.
"To believe Christ (faith), to serve Christ (love), and to wait for Christ (hope): that is what it means to find God. But to the degree that you haven't found him, your passions are out of control. Trust is out. You want to explain and control;" p. 211
"Let your passion to heal become a passion to give hope. The wounds won't all go away now... but you can continue on, doing the work of faith and carrying out the labour of love...A better city awaits you." p.212
'It is time to find our way back to the living room and into the Father's arms, where we can listen to his Spirit tell the story of Christ." p.213
"I am making plans right now to take the step that God has placed before me. I've already taken it in my heart. Panic is giving way to the terror of trust. A quiet sense of adventure--almost a thrill--is replacing the despairing boredom. The world is too bad a place--and far too uncertain--to build a home and to count on enjoying it. But it's a perfect place to find God." p. 216
17-21 Feb, 2017
Singapore: Methodist Book Room PTE LTD, 1993 (Asia Edition)
P: A really good and honest book about the inner life of every Christian and how we can move through our problems toward Finding God, which is the most important thing.
Monday, February 6, 2017
12. The Little Prince--Antoine de Saint Exupery
What a delightful little book. It definitely helps one see things from another perspective.
Great advice for adults who busy themselves with "matters of consequence" while neglecting the precious things in life they should spend time to care for and nurture.
"Men," said the little prince, "set out on their way in express trains, but they do not know what they are looking for. Then they rush about, and get excited, and turn round and round..." p.94
What is meaningful is the little things that we put our hearts and time into nurturing, like how the little prince cared for his one rose and three volcanoes on his little planet.
"What moves me so deeply, about this loyalty to a flower--the image of a rose that shines through his whole being like the flame of a lamp, even when he is asleep..." p.93-94
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." "What is essential is invisible to the eye" p.87
The lamplighter. "that man would be scorned by all the others: by the king, by the conceited man, by the tippler, by the businessman. Nevertheless he is the only one of them all who does not seem to me ridiculous. Perhaps that is because he is thinking of something else besides himself." p.61
24 Jan-7 Feb, 2017.
New York: Harvest/HBJ Book, Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1971
Great advice for adults who busy themselves with "matters of consequence" while neglecting the precious things in life they should spend time to care for and nurture.
"Men," said the little prince, "set out on their way in express trains, but they do not know what they are looking for. Then they rush about, and get excited, and turn round and round..." p.94
What is meaningful is the little things that we put our hearts and time into nurturing, like how the little prince cared for his one rose and three volcanoes on his little planet.
"What moves me so deeply, about this loyalty to a flower--the image of a rose that shines through his whole being like the flame of a lamp, even when he is asleep..." p.93-94
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." "What is essential is invisible to the eye" p.87
The lamplighter. "that man would be scorned by all the others: by the king, by the conceited man, by the tippler, by the businessman. Nevertheless he is the only one of them all who does not seem to me ridiculous. Perhaps that is because he is thinking of something else besides himself." p.61
24 Jan-7 Feb, 2017.
New York: Harvest/HBJ Book, Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1971
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