37. Training Up a Child and Be Glad You Did - Harold J. Sala

"If we fail at home, I wonder if we have really succeeded anywhere." p.7
Mom and Dad are the first pictures of God to a child. Ps 103:13 Isaiah 66:13

The importance of the early years.
The young child learns attitudes, responses, character traits. He begins to develop a positive or negative self-image. He learns what he can get away with and where he must stop. p.25

parents teach children in 3 ways: by example, by attitudes, which develop emotional responses in our children, and by our words. p.32
-Attitudes: "Children often verbalize attitudes when we hadn't really counted on them saying aloud what we had thought." p.39 "Everyday of your life your attitudes are shaping and molding the character of your child." p.40
The Bible says a great deal--both negatively and positively--about our thinking. Phil 4:8-9
convey positive mental and spiritual attitudes which we must be firmly committed.
-Words: Teach the principles of God's Word Deut 6:6-7 "And these words, which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart. And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children..."
capitalize on the questions of a child to teach them God's truths.
The principle of praise and appreciation: When they do something that pleases us, we need to let them know that what they have done is right and good. p.47

"The family that plays and prays together stays together." The atmosphere of your home e.g. decoration is important too!. p.61 A visible witness, can people know that God lives here in your home?

Discipline your child. Prov 3:11, 12; 12:1; 13:24; 15:10; Heb 12:5, 6 ; Eph 6:4
Discipline not to vent your anger and frustration on your kids. But to discipline children in order to save heartbreak and anguish.
Discipline produces a security that draws the limits on behaviour. "Indefinite limitations--poorly defined and enforced--also result in an emotional instability where life itself is not clearly defined." Discipline produces obedience. Jesus was obedient to Joseph and Mary (Luke 2:51), Heb 5:8
1. Establish clear limits of behaviour
2. Enforce boundaries with consistent discipline (parents work together)
3. Administer discipline in private. The purpose of discipline is to reinforce the teaching-learning process which develops a sense of right and wrong in the child. It is not to shame him, humiliate or anger him... p.85
4. Establish responsibility for the wrongdoing. ...ask a series of questions which cause a youngster to acknowledge a wrongdoing. eg. 'Do you understand that you were supposed to ask permission before you left our block?' Not: 'Did you cross the street?'.
5. Show grief over the offense.
6. Administer discipline firmly and thoroughly. Prov 13:24, the rod 2 Sam 7:14
7. Allow a child to vent his emotions and then talk with him. stay with him until he has stopped sobbing, then talk with him again to clarify why he was punished.
8. Once a matter has been dealt with, consider it forgiven. Heb 12:5-13. When God forgives us, our sins are as far as the east is from the west (Ps 103:12)
9. Balance discipline with personal attention.

Convey moral and spiritual values to your children
-don't be a hypocrite
-"Have a plan to teach spiritual truth as well as illustrate it with your life. ...No great concert pianist would assume that his daughter is learning music theory because she grows up in his home." p.116
-Live as consistently as you can.
-Confess your failures
-Practice unconditional love. Acceptance doesn't equal approval
-Keep the channels of communication open. Anger, frustration, constant preaching, sarcasm, and similar gestures are surefire ways to stop the flow of communication. ...lots of genuine listening with an attempt to understand. p.120
-Protect your offspring with a fence of prayer.

Teaching your children about sex. When a child asks a question is the best time to answer him--honestly and openly. If he cares for details, he'll ask for details.

Have regular family worship time. Plan it.
1. The study of the Word
2. A time of prayer
3. Memorization of key verses and passages geared to the needs of our family.

Dec-1 Jan, 2018
Manila: Accent-B/P Publications/OMF Literature Inc., 1978

26. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens-Sean Covey

Get in the habit, they make you or break you.
Shift your paradigms and be principles-centered.

The Personal Bank Account:
1. Be proactive, take responsibility for your own life. Don't complain. Choose to respond with the right attitude.
2. Begin with the end in mind. How do you want to be a year later? Deciding what your values are and setting goals. ; the "Great Discovery"; writing your Personal mission statement
3. Prioritze: big rocks scheduling
"Winning means rising everything you fail."
4. Think win-win.
Relationship bank account.
Keep promises, do small acts of kindness, be loyal, genuine listening, say you're sorry, set clear expectations.
-Don't compare with others. "When competition is used as a means of creating a self-image relative to others, the worst in a person comes out." -Tim Galwey, p.155
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
-Listen first, talk second because everyone wants to be respected and valued for who they are--a unique, one-of-a-kind individual. People won't expose their soft middles unless they feel genuine love and understanding.
6. Synergize. Celebrating differences, teamwork, open-mindedness, finding new and better ways.
7. Renewal: sharpen the saw. Nothing in life comes easily. Pay the price of hard work to develop a strong mind. p.217
Laughter is the best medicine
Caring for your soul: journal, listen to good music, walk in nature (what is it that moves your soul?)

Overall, the "baby steps" provided at the end of each chapter provides great practical applications and can be looked at again to carry out the steps.

13-22 July, 2017
New York: Fireside, 1998